tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59327050412842170552024-03-04T20:33:45.293-08:00cork is FATJohn Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-38956573534202814952017-07-03T10:50:00.000-07:002017-07-03T10:50:07.278-07:00PHAD Diet SEVEN Week Update<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-8678056660307994083" itemprop="description articleBody" style="line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 578px;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">Cork's PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">(May 15-July 26, 2017)</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Diet Start Weight: </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">240 lbs.</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Goal weight: </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">220</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Six Weight : </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">226</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Current <b>Weight</b></span><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">225</span></b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Four </span><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Loss</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">/</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Gain</span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">:</span><span style="color: red; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"> -1.0</span></span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Total loss to date: </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">15.0</span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">To go: </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: arial; font-size: 18pt;">5.0 lbs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b><i><u>Update</u></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 16pt;">A Pound is a Pound is a Pound is a....<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">*Fourth of July <o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">weekend, and I've </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">achieved independence from my fat pants.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial;">*Lost a resounding pound last week.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">*I have 3 1/2 weeks to lose FIVE more pounds. As John Lennon, or perhaps it was Chris Christie once said..."Cripes you know it ain't easy."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.850000381469727px;">
</div>
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">*So now it is ON, Brother, for the rest of July. I will turn an ungodly 74 on Jul 27th. I would like there to be no more than 220 pounds of me making the transition. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">*Stay tuned....</span></div>
</div>
</div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-86780566603079940832017-06-27T11:15:00.002-07:002017-06-27T11:17:03.513-07:00PHAD Diet Six Week Update<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">Cork's PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">(May 15-July 26, 2017)</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Diet Start Weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">240 lbs.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Goal weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">220</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Five Weight : </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">226</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Current <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Weight</b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">226</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Four </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Loss</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">/</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Gain</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">0.0</span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;"> </span></b></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Total loss to date: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">14.0</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;"> </span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">To go: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18pt;">6.0 lbs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16pt;">I've Reached the End of the Three Week Sargasso Sea Lull<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">*Yeah a quick 14 off and then three weeks of zippo. Discouraging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-size: 7.5pt;">*Of course it's discouraging, but not unfamiliar. It's the body settling at my last settle point, about 227.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-size: 7.5pt;">*Now it needs to be sandblasted with a couple of hard weeks of dieting.I have a month to lose 6 pounds. It can be done. Using the PHAD diet, I assume it's accomplished or I am publicly humiliated for failing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-85362165600611683472017-06-17T18:51:00.001-07:002017-06-17T18:51:45.432-07:00PHAD DIET Five Week Update <div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 3;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"> Cork's
PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">(May 15-July 26, 2017)</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Diet
Start Weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">240 lbs.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Goal
weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">220</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week
Four Weight : </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">225.5</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Current <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Weight</b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">226</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week
Four </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Loss</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">/</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Gain</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">+.5</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">Total
loss to date: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">14.0</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;">To
go: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">6.0 lbs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">Everything
I know about Five Week Setback Syndrome<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt;">*It
is normal and to be expected in any diet. We are only human, you know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 7.5pt;">*Use
it as motivation, not discouragement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 7.5pt;">*It
sucks, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-36775428631094048722017-06-12T14:44:00.000-07:002017-06-12T14:44:08.140-07:00PHAD DIET Four Week Update<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">
Cork's
PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">(May 15-July 26, 2017)</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
</h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Diet Start Weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">240 lbs.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Goal weight:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">220</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Three Weight : </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">227</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Current <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Weight:</b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">225.5</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Week Four </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Loss</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">/</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Gain</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">: </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">-1.5 </span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Total loss to date: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">14.5 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;">To
go: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 7.5pt;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;">5.5
lbs</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 18.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<h1 align="center" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Amphetamine and Golf Diet<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>(AKA The Greatest Diet <i>Ever</i>)</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This revelation dates me well back into
the last Century, but I remember when "Speed" was legal. For one brief, delirious
summer, it was the heart and soul of the most successful diet I’ve ever tried.
My own Father hooked me up.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Handsome and slender in his younger days,
Dad fought in World War II.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
bombed Germany but did not fight The Battle of the Bulge until after the conflict
ended. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgou4KO7JQidJc1HBel_rHq40kCjieYBgQwXw0lS2Xr8vd0QuA4HB1_U2a1jumv1yFGJotbulfO7dfSX-RZ51srXHFR3a8kMiTuYrJvfiyk0XVuScShO7c_Kb_0Xt7KG9jOVnNXwAis1OM/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By
1963, Dad was losing that battle. Not for lack of trying. He tried every diet
in the books. My Mom and I hated when one began. He resembled a bear that’d
just lost a squabble with a porcupine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ursus Hornbills</i>
with a snout full of quills was better company. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Spring of ’63, an Air Force flight
surgeon put my father on a new diet. I was home from college and Mom </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwgqsOoyQWDupCe7V5SvHbIXZ571XIBn4CAg7wEaI1GiQvEcxZy353tNKJmfyyE_tENQ0PHXfA8Nuwqrqk21fC4w4Zd4Bzxhx1iHksY9XzmVafYwomkh7Z84xhkJLPPLLXu82zq87awU/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="132" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwgqsOoyQWDupCe7V5SvHbIXZ571XIBn4CAg7wEaI1GiQvEcxZy353tNKJmfyyE_tENQ0PHXfA8Nuwqrqk21fC4w4Zd4Bzxhx1iHksY9XzmVafYwomkh7Z84xhkJLPPLLXu82zq87awU/s1600/images-2.jpeg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">and I
prepared ourselves for the nightmare to come. But this time something was
definitely different. In one week, Dad lost about 15 pounds and changed
personalities—for the good. No grumping, no grouching, no snapping—he could not
have been more pleasant. One morning over his tiny breakfast he declared his
love for his new diet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“This is the greatest diet ever. Not only am I losing weight,
not only am I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> hungry ever, but
I’ve never been in a better mood in my life. I talk with anyone about anything
anytime. I never did that even when I wasn’t dieting.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Mom and I waited for the punch line. But
Dad laughed and continued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Seriously, I walk up to complete strangers and start up
conversations with them about what a lovely a day it is, and how pretty the
sound of birds singing is to my ears. I get the strangest looks in return. But
I don’t care. No one can hurt my feelings. I’ve never been more positive about
life. I’ve said more words in the last few days than all of last year. I love
life and life loves me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">To demonstrate his happiness, he swept
Mom into his arms and waltzed her around the kitchen. Mom didn’t even mind that
her Maypo got cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Okay, I made that last part up, but Mom
and I realized, this isn’t a diet—<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">it’s
a miracle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I wanted in on the action. I was tickling
the Toledo’s at a good 225 myself those days, so I asked Dad if he could help
me. I was still a military dependent and I soon visited the same flight
surgeon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Take one pill each morning,” he said,
handing me a prescription to this new Diet Pill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">No job that summer, so I could play golf
every day. A typical morning would start with a small bowl of cereal and milk.
Then 18 holes—or more. Like Dad, I quickly found myself filled with energy and
cheerier than I’d ever been. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
walked the golf course, schlepping my own bag. My skill level assured there would
be much traipsing through the forest primeval, exploring hidden
moonscapes, sand traps, and Titleist-eating rodents of unusual size. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>From WWII Warrior to Cheerful Bunny Rabbit</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Still, I became as cheerful as a bunny
rabbit. Shots that once led me to erupt into fits of rage now caused me to
erupt into ironic asides.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Oh my, that is deep into the pines,” I’d
say, admiring my banana slice like a cleanup hitter who’d jacked one into the
cheap seats. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Quell</i> droll. I can’t
wait to tell Mater and Pater.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meanwhile, the shards of glass that usually inhabited my
stomach during diets were gone, replaced by a pleasant, slightly full feeling,
which gained momentum as the day went on. By evening, I felt stuffed. Dad got
home and we caught up on our respective days; each of us chattering like
Macaws, my svelte and usually verbose Mom all but hushed up for the evening.
Many nights she headed to bed early, exhausted from getingt a word
in edgewise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>Force Feeding the Dieters</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Eating dinner was a chore for Dad and I.
I had to force myself to eat, lucky if I could get down a small portion of meat
and half a potato. Because we both took our pills in the morning they wore off shortly
after dinner, replaced not with hunger but fatigue. Neither of us had any
trouble getting to, or staying asleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">As summer went by, Dad and I both noticed
chinks in the diet’s armor. It lacked staying power. After a while, the “Upper”
effect lowered, our appetites returned, we were less cheerful, and saw a
diminution of energy and lessening of the urge to babble. One night, after
carrying the dinner table conversation, my Mom urged us both to check back with
the doctor for advice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">He confirmed the side effect. There were
two ways to counter it—increase the dosage—too dangerous—or interrupt the diet
now and then, hoping to keep the lost weight off until the pills had a kick
again. I’d skip the pills on weekends—sometimes suffering minor diet setbacks,
then by Monday I was ready to go again. But overall, the results of the Flight
Surgeon’s Diet were inarguably positive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Dad reached his goal and by the time I
returned to college, I had plummeted from 225 to 170. I had to buy all new
clothes and the greeting from college chums was a cheery, “Good to see you
John. Are you dying?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The most amazing experience came at a cocktail
party shortly after returning to campus. I ordered a Manhattan, the first
alcohol I’d had since my diet began.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had not eaten all day. I literally felt my first sip track down my esophagus
and pour into my stomach, where I could feel the liquor absorb through the
walls of my stomach and hit the blood stream. I was skunk-level drunk before I
had a chance for a second sip. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b><i>Ass Over Teakettle</i> Centerfold</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">I played intramural flag football
again that year, with one not-too-minor difference. On the first play of the
first game, the opponent ran a sweep my way. I knew the drill. Stone the
pulling guard and turn the play inside. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">I think the driver of the
first truck that hit me giggled as he flicked my scrawny frame high into the
clear blue sky. I don't want to say I traveled a great distance, but there was
time for two drinks and a bag of Beernuts before landing. (I was later chosen
October centerfold for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ass Over Teakettle</i>
Magazine.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">A ref leaned over to ask me
what day it was. I said, “I’ll have the veal.” I was whisked to the Infirmary
where they needed a specimen of my blood, my urine and my stool. I said,
"Take my shorts." A drummer gave me a courtesy rim shot and Henny
Youngman came by to take a bow. I then donned a "vent in the ass"
hospital gown that wrapped around me twice, with enough material left over for
two quilts and a party banner. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
doc told me I'd had a concussion. I demanded a second opinion. He said (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all together now…</i>): "You're ugly,
too." The next morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, it was too good a diet to last. Some
spoilsports started using amphetamines for cheap thrills and all-nighters. As
far as I know the Air Force only issues them now to aircrews in combat and/or long
missions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My crutch
removed, and back in the grip of my college chef—a devout member of the Church
of the Wholly Cholesterol—I gained the weight back within the next year. Dad
took a little longer to regain the weight he lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The silver lining? I was starting again
for my fraternity football team and that year we won the university title.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Throughout a lifetime of dieting I can
say without doubt the Amphetamine Diet was by far the most enjoyable—while it
lasted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-80603812565943650982017-06-03T10:38:00.000-07:002017-06-03T10:38:20.792-07:00PHAD DIET: Three week Update<span style="color: blue; font-size: 18pt; text-align: center;"> Cork's PHAD
Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 7.5pt;">(May
15-July 26, 2017)</span><span style="font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Diet
Start Weight:</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">240 lbs.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Goal
weight:</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">220</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Week
Two Weight : </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">230.5</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Current</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"> </span><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Weight: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">227</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Week
Two </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial;">Loss</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">/</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">Gain</span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial;">:</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">3.5 </span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Total
loss to date: </span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">13 lbs</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">To
go:</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">
</span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 18.0pt;">7 lbs</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
UPDATE: I’m delighted with my start. I credit the
committment to the PHAD principles and an unaccustomed outburst of
self-discipline. Week three is a traditional diet-killer in my world,
especially if little or no weight comes off. But 3.5 pounds is great news. Now week four presents
challenges.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A reader was kind enough to write and ask, “why would anyone
care about” my diet experiences because, afterall, “…we’ve all been through it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good point. There is no reason why many of you would know I
worked most of my professional life as a writer. And as Billy Crystal noted in <i>Throw Mama from the Train</i>, “A writer writes, always.” So that’s
one reason why I’m writing about my diet.
Also, it’s the best way to keep me <i>on</i>
this diet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dieters know there are hundreds of tricks out there to keep
them on the straight and narrower waist. But it’s easy to quit a diet—I’ve done it hundreds of
times before. I hate dieting. I’m a lousy dieter. The trick, I think, is to
find the one thing that can prevent failure. And for some of us, myself included, that’s the fear
of embarrassment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need to go public about it. I did, once before notably. The
result of the diet was a 46 pound weight loss. I’d love to claim credit for the
diet idea, but that belongs to Paul Dickson. Paul writes too. A <i>lot</i>. He is one of if not the most
prolific authors in the country.
He has almost seventy non-fiction books to his credit already, including
his current one “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leo-Durocher-Baseballs-Prodigal-Son/dp/1632863111/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496510087&sr=1-1&keywords=paul+dickson+leo+durocher">Durocher: Baseball’s Prodigal Son</a>”, and just announced he’s
already starting his next one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Decades ago Paul, myself and a number of editors, writers
and employees of <i><a href="https://www.washingtonian.com/">The Washingtonian</a></i> in
Washington, DC, were at a Christmas party thrown by the magazine. Along with guzzling fine liquor, downing
superb food, several of us ended up bumping bellies and talking about how we
should really lose some weight when the holidays were over. Paul had a better idea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He suggested we start immediately, and that four of us
compete for three months on what he called “The Public Humiliation Approach to
Dieting” (PHAD) weight loss competition. As writers we all were blessed with
hefty egos and hated to be embarrassed.
His devilish plan including convincing <i>The Washingtonian</i> into sponsoring the competition with the “winner”
of the diet writing the final piece and thinking up an apt humiliation for the
losers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The great editor of the publication then, <a href="http://jacklimpert.com/">Jack Limpert</a>—himself skinny as a rail—loved the idea. He especially liked the
suggestion that the diet would include dirty tricks (remember Washington gave
us the dirty Tricks of Richard Nixon.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’ t want to call myself a genius, but the shoe fits in
that instance. I conjured up one of the best dirty tricks of all to get the
diet off to a devious start. After that, it was a struggle to hold onto my
early lead. Did I succeed? Check out in upcoming weeks. I have no sponsor, no
competitiors for this latest PHAD attempt, just the threat of embarrassing
myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-26593359271715258912017-05-27T10:43:00.001-07:002017-05-29T08:57:56.434-07:00PHAD DIET TWO WEEK UPDATE <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red;"><b>READ THIS FIRST</b></span>: ...and pay attention you litigious bastards. I am not a doctor nor diet expert, just an old fat guy who wants to lose weight. This is not meant as advice for anyone. If you need to lose weight, Tubby, see your doctor and diet on your own, understand? Don't follow the delusional suggestions of some dufus with a blog, okay? If you drop dead dieting, I don't want to hear from you...or your lawyer. This is for entertainment and amusement, only. Okay? You got it now? And yes thank you for asking, I<i> am </i>grumpy and hungry as Hell. <i> Now,</i> you may proceed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Cork's PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">(May 15-July 26, 2017)</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diet Start Weight: <span style="font-size: large;">240 lbs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Goal weight: <span style="font-size: large;">220</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Week One Weight : <span style="font-size: large;">233.5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Current <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Weight: <span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;">230.5</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Week Two <span style="color: red;">Loss</span>/<span style="color: blue;">Gain</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;">: <span style="font-size: large;">3.0 </span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Total loss to date: <span style="color: red;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">9.5 </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To go: <b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">10.5 lbs</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">About the PHAD Diet</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The original PHAD diet was created decades ago by Paul Dickson, author of nearly 70 books and one of the USA’s most respected baseball writers (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leo-Durocher-Baseballs-Prodigal-Son/dp/1632863111/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1495901247&sr=1-1&keywords=paul+dickson+leo+durocher">Leo Durocher: Baseball's Prodigal Son</a>) (Ironically, none of his books was about the PHAD diet.) His premise was that one of the greatest diet motivators ever is fear of public humiliation. And so “Public Humiliation Approach to Dieting” (PHAD) was born. Paul, myself, and two other fat writers competed, with the winner getting to publicly humiliate the losers. The contest was sponsored by the city magazine of Washington, DC, <i>The Washingtonian, </i>with the winner of the diet getting to write about it and shame the losers. Dirty tricks were encouraged. We weighed in together. Photographs--before and after--were taken. After about four months of dieting, it ended with the winner losing 46 pounds. Who was that? Answers in a future report--if I can find the damn article in my file.</div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: x-large;"><b>My First Diet: The <i>Metrecal </i>Diet</b></span><b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember the original <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal </i>Diet?
If you do, you are old. I am and I do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was in high school when I attempted it. The memory of
my experience is seared into my mind like a 20 ounce Porterhouse on a hot grill.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal </i>was
supposed to work. You could buy a package of the stuff and dump it into a glass
of milk. Or, buy cans of pre-mixed <i>Metrecal</i>. I opted for pre-mix. </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgygshhPntEOyDAKxkUMMkcVofxXvfEg2gErUvO6CdPrv2dEyrkxy8A7k7VtrsY2ad4MPW_xrhw_gvmsSk0RLS5YuGSY0W_ExNPg10SHIxlMWdArHWMFrqx2wRgmiby71YKZGmBJa3h_XI/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgygshhPntEOyDAKxkUMMkcVofxXvfEg2gErUvO6CdPrv2dEyrkxy8A7k7VtrsY2ad4MPW_xrhw_gvmsSk0RLS5YuGSY0W_ExNPg10SHIxlMWdArHWMFrqx2wRgmiby71YKZGmBJa3h_XI/s200/images.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Original Metrecal Ad 1960's</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know where the name <i>Metrecal </i>came from--probably
a combination of “cal” for “calories” and “Metre” for the delicious flavor of
a meter of soil.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal</i> Diet said you could drink four cans of the stuff a day--and nothing else except water. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No snacks. No in-betweens. No sneaky goodies added to the mix. Sure, you could sub out some diet food <i>instead</i> of a can or two of the stuff, but being young, stupid and fat, I figured that was the coward's way out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Four cans added up to a rip-roaring 900 calories intake per day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Metrecal</i>'s manufacturers claimed it tasted like a flavored milkshake. I'd say it was more
like chalk in a can. As I recall, it came in three flavors: Vanilla-flavored
chalk, Chocolate-flavored chalk, and strawberry-flavored chalk. Each can filled
your stomach and suppressed your appetite with the effectiveness of a six-ounce
tumbler of water. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here then, in its entirety, is the account of my first and
only <i>Metrecal </i>Diet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">DAY ONE:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breakfast</b>: One
can of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lunch</b>: One can of
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Midday</b>: One can
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dinner: One can of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">DAY TWO:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breakfast</b>: One
can of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lunch</b>: One can of
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Midday</b>: One can
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Metrecal<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dinner</b>: Six fried
egg sandwiches.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">About the PHAD Diet</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The original PHAD diet was created decades ago by Paul
Dickson, author of nearly 70 books and one of the USA’s most respected baseball writers (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leo-Durocher-Baseballs-Prodigal-Son/dp/1632863111/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1495901247&sr=1-1&keywords=paul+dickson+leo+durocher">Leo Durocher: Baseball's Prodigal Son</a>) (Ironically, none of his books was about the PHAD diet.) His premise was that one of the greatest diet motivators ever is fear of public
humiliation. And so “Public Humiliation Approach to Dieting” (PHAD) was
born. Paul, myself, and two other fat writers competed, with the winner getting to publicly humiliate the losers. The contest was sponsored by the city magazine of Washington, DC, <i>The Washingtonian, </i>with the winner of the diet getting to write about it and shame the losers. Dirty tricks were encouraged. We weighed in together. Photographs--before and after--were taken. After about four months of dieting, it ended with the winner losing 46 pounds. Who was that? Answers in a future report--if I can find the damn article in my file.</div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-38076851954219517872017-05-19T08:14:00.000-07:002017-05-19T08:58:26.881-07:00May, 2017: The Return of the PHAD Diet<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cork’s Late in Life, God-I-Hate-Diets,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Foolproof, Last Chance,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Desperation, Lifesaving Diet—The Series<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Part 1: May 19, 2017<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m fat. Again.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have two
excuses for being fat (again).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: red;">Excuse Number One</span></u></b>:</span> I’m old and I have two
bum wheels. To wit:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-style: italic;">Bum wheel Number One:</span><span style="color: red; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span>My right leg comes with a fused right ankle and a calf still recovering from
its 2015 Deep Vein Thrombosis. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKoHgTMt9ApY-iFRln0yGCDuUttzbmXbx48OleIS2ng1uJmkTL2mjUQ790ACt66Ze52V9s3U8x2k_N8WGm45bKnh5eG1j6Fg5rn9nhfd3ihuDh28LPNiHROxGNen_avUbpeiw5hPEq3w/s1600/IMG_4491.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKoHgTMt9ApY-iFRln0yGCDuUttzbmXbx48OleIS2ng1uJmkTL2mjUQ790ACt66Ze52V9s3U8x2k_N8WGm45bKnh5eG1j6Fg5rn9nhfd3ihuDh28LPNiHROxGNen_avUbpeiw5hPEq3w/s320/IMG_4491.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>The author at 240</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bum Wheel Number Two:</i>
My left knee made of rusted lug nuts and Silly Putty. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sounds like a baja marima
band playing the drum solo from “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Add them up, and it means I can’t walk from here to the door
without stopping for a Scotch. Dieting is tough enough without exercise in the picture.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white;"><u><b><span style="color: red;">Excuse
Number Two</span>:</b></u> </span>I was born without Willpower—specifically when it comes to
food. And by food, I mean bread. Never met a piece of bread I didn’t like. I dabble
in other fattening foodstuffs, but the food I stuff my face with most is
bread. Warm, delicious bread. Mmmmmmmm, bread.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, thanks to this Dynamic Duo of Excuses, I’ve allowed myself to get fat (again).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As with many folks who let excuses be their enablers, (you know who you are), one day a triggering incident takes place that launches
your next diet. For me this time it was a sweet little video my wife took of me
reading to my two-year-old Granddaughter. I was slouched in a chair next to her and right next
to Mt. Kilimanjaro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Excuse
me…That' <i>not </i>Mt. Kilimanjaro?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whattaya mean that’s my <i>stomach</i>?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This raised the logical question: “Whatcha gonna do about
it, Fatso?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The easiest course for me, of course, is just stay the
course: Just keep getting bigger britches until I keel over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’ve pooh-poohed that plan because my life ain’t half bad these days, and fat or dead is no way to spend it.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I’ve dipped into my past dieting experiences looking for a
solution. So many many diets to consider that I've tried. And by golly, I remembered the perfect—perhaps the only—diet I know will work for
me these days. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, why am I telling <i>you </i>about it? Because I have to. It's part of the diet..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t invent this diet. There’s no book that describes it that I'm aware of, even though it was created by one of the country’s most prolific authors. To my
knowledge the first and only only reference to this diet was in a magazine article in The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Washingtonian </i>magazine some 40 or so years ago. I ought to know. I wrote the article.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The diet was successful. <i>Successful? </i>I
lost 46 pounds in four months. What I didn't succeed at was keeping the weight off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now, once again, unto the breach, and smaller britches I stride. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Join me each week for updates of “The PHAD Diet.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NEXT WEEK, PART TWO: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Leo
Durocher, Paul Dickson and how the PHAD Diet works. (Plus second weight update)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">STARTING WEIGHT</b>:
240 <b>GOAL WEIGHT </b>: 220.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">START DATE</b>: MAY
15<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>END DATE: </b> July 21<sup>th</sup> (10 weeks)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Week One Weigh-in: (May 19 short week) </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>WEIGHT</b> <u><b>233.5</b></u> <span style="color: red;">Gain</span>/<span style="color: blue;">Loss <b><u>6.5</u></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-940286759719487932014-06-06T14:56:00.002-07:002014-06-06T14:56:28.598-07:00Fat Old Guy Halfway Home in Shocking Assault on Beer Gut
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Part One of my two-part Fat Old Guy Diet, nicknamed
the “<i>Not Gonna Be the Fattest Guy at my Son’s Wedding Diet</i>” has ended in
success. (Pt. II, the "<i>Not Gonna Be the Fattest Guy at my Birthday Party Diet</i>" has begun)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The diet was launched two plus months before the wedding, after I caught
a glimpse of my profile in the mirror and hit the scales to assess the damage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MNd8bQqBhLpylhPs_l2OgJVy-rVEYXrKl1q3EUbeewwUxvVtbGjYTVOSoVzOckwrjey_Ihf6OXwCPs8Hi0dK_OV2xVKxJmkw80SFSo7zkB0XVvNtxwdG93PgJ8q8_IJlJ_VqziDpLOk/s1600/belly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MNd8bQqBhLpylhPs_l2OgJVy-rVEYXrKl1q3EUbeewwUxvVtbGjYTVOSoVzOckwrjey_Ihf6OXwCPs8Hi0dK_OV2xVKxJmkw80SFSo7zkB0XVvNtxwdG93PgJ8q8_IJlJ_VqziDpLOk/s1600/belly.jpg" height="187" width="320" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I weighed 245. I pledged to lose 25 pounds by wedding day, come Hell or high cholesterol. Two months later, I reached my goal weight by my
goal date. So I canceled my forklift stretch-limo. I stopped worrying
about my overstressed pants popping a fly-button and eviscerating a wedding
guest.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tummy deflated, Ego inflated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happy camper time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What could go wrong? I soon found out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I went to be fitted for my Tux, things went south with with
one, cruel, word. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s a letter of complaint I sent to the CEO of the tux
company.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear Mr. (name redacted)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I have a bone to pick. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Not about the tuxedo I rented from you. As rental
tuxes go it was just peachy. No soup stains, no unseemly seam rips, cigarette
burns or malevolent odors. It held its press. Zipper zipped. No lint in the pockets,
no hint of frayed lapel or shiny bottom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I would wear it as Father of the Groom, so I really wanted
to look good. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A couple of months ago, I noticed I was
fat. Not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">superfat </i>fat, but large
enough to risk being the fattest guy at the wedding. I had the fat </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">old</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> guy’s
deadly combo of skinny legs, no ass, and a beer gut. I looked like a pair of
toothpicks smuggling a bathtub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I began a crash diet. I am not inexperienced at such an
event.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A week before the wedding I hit my goal. I’d lost 25 pounds,
from 245 to 220. At 6’0”, that’s not a bad weight for a man of my age and
willpower. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I went into one of your stores for my tux fitting. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> Tailor was competent, all business, and kept his hands off my business.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I thought
I looked pretty good in the tux.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
almost looked svelte. Okay, semi-svelte.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then I was handed my receipt/claim check. Name, claim
number, sizes--all listed correctly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But there were six additional letters that knocked the wind from my
sails, stripped the gild from my lily and sucked the gas from my bag.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My cheeks flushed as I read the insult. The pangs of earlier
weight related affronts returned, my self-worth plummeted, my confidence caught
the last train for the coast.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I was not a valued customer nor cherished client to you
guys. Nope.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I was a “46 Portly.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Portly?<i> Portly!!!</i> Port-<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">freakin’</i>-ly???
Who the heck calls somebody portly these days?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In an instant, I was no longer a proud father who had busted
his rear end to look his best on a most important family occasion. I was just
another fat guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Why would anyone with a lick of sense, humanity or
desire for repeat business do that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unless…. Perhaps the word “Portly” had mutated meaning—like the word
“Bad,” which can now mean<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Good.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Yeah, that’s the ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The receipt was actually sending me off with a jaunty
“Devilishly Handsome” designation. At that point I’d have settled for
“Stylishly Stout” or “Not as fat as you’d think.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I looked it up. Sadly, “portly” still means “rather heavy
or fat,” or “corpulent” according to my Funk & Wagnall’s </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I waited </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">until I returned the item </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to point out the insult to a manager .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did he
apologize? No, he said,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It should
have read Executive,” adding, “It didn’t refer to you as Portly, it referred to
the suit as portly.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">How about that, I was not only Portly but too stupid to
interpret a receipt.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I thought you really ought to know about this. And I do hope
this letter wends it way up the chain to your desk, and doesn’t result in some
customer service rep sending me “Idiot Letter # 5” and a $5.00 coupon for my
next purchase of Argyle socks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sincerely,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">John Corcoran</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-42240998847979647232014-05-06T13:44:00.001-07:002014-05-06T13:44:21.596-07:00He Who Looks Lithe, Laughs Last
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQJcguq5uz1lmhXp2bL6D3TcevTrHNr3E-xxoSbibI4yssxgOP-ZKnvou3m0t8kCVwyYYU7FoXHKPSBQVbRZzem_5s9jXIAxOhkcNBCKlDcTSaUeT44zqUYwEYpC3t2sT2qxCnbSXTEdk/s1600/skinny+fat4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQJcguq5uz1lmhXp2bL6D3TcevTrHNr3E-xxoSbibI4yssxgOP-ZKnvou3m0t8kCVwyYYU7FoXHKPSBQVbRZzem_5s9jXIAxOhkcNBCKlDcTSaUeT44zqUYwEYpC3t2sT2qxCnbSXTEdk/s1600/skinny+fat4.jpg" height="254" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>This ain't me--I should <i>be</i> so young</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Nutritionists, some family, a few friends, strangers, and all the ships at
sea LAUGHED when I bragged I would succeed in losing <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">24.4 pounds</span>
within two months using my own, exclusive <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">FOG Diet</span>, AKA The<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"<i>Not Gonna Be the Fattest Guy at
My Son's Wedding</i>" Diet. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now who’s laughing up his or her shorts at me?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Starting WEIGHT:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>244.4</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Current WEIGHT<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">220.0</span>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Okay, okay, so I'm not exactly lithe, but I'm laughing at doubters. I reached my goal at today’s weigh in--Tuesday before the weekend wedding of Handsome Andrew and the Beautiful Jesse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After a few days off, the diet resumes and Part II begins.
Goal: 20 more pounds by my birthday, July 27<sup>th</sup>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The FOG Diet works for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I invented it and you’ll be seeing more details about my methodology in
upcoming weeks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So if you’re a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Fat Old Guy</span> or <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Fat Old Girl</span>…hurry back, y’hear?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And once again <i>always</i> check with your Sawbones before starting any diet....</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If you don't and drop dead on a diet, ANY diet, don't come running to me with your complaints.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-31909944085528716952014-04-14T13:28:00.001-07:002014-04-14T13:28:51.686-07:00DIET REPORT: Weeks Three through Five, Mar 22- APR 11
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">OVERALL STARTING
WEIGHT </span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">244.4</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">WEIGHT AT START OF WEEK THREE:</span></b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">230. 4</span></b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">WEIGHT AT END OF WEEK THREE
</span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> 228.8 </span></b><b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WEEK
FOUR<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>`<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>226.4<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WEEK
FIVE<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>225.0<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Loss (gain) this
Period
</span></b><b><span style="color: #0008fd; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">5.4 POUNDS </span></b><b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Loss (gain) since diet start
</span></b><b><span style="color: #0008fd; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">19.4 POUNDS</span></b><b><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">These were relatively slow weeks—a dieting doldrums. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT2NMWu7DI1Ij4bFE6zDjIgxH3GOkUqbyV3_gxtVarZ2PXTpPfT1aGZUh_I7fuZSrpl9H8sFUgSJHp64iQ9zN9ka7vKBk7YjcYNLoHn2Mt0OSUcTrgMgnfuwBTvn2qI4MRWWPCRS8wkeo/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT2NMWu7DI1Ij4bFE6zDjIgxH3GOkUqbyV3_gxtVarZ2PXTpPfT1aGZUh_I7fuZSrpl9H8sFUgSJHp64iQ9zN9ka7vKBk7YjcYNLoHn2Mt0OSUcTrgMgnfuwBTvn2qI4MRWWPCRS8wkeo/s1600/images.jpeg" height="320" width="304" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Before I analyze and give advice let me restate as clearly
as I can, that I am NOT a doctor, health specialist, or someone who is
qualified to recommend that you do as I do, unless your doctor agrees—in which
case you are following HIS or HER advice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am telling people about this diet because it works for me,
and because reporting its success or failure motivates me. The act of allowing
readers to observe my behavior has a scientific foundation, believe it or not.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It falls under the umbnrella of the <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t be impressed that I know about that,
I had tolook it up and I originally thought Heisenberg was a shortstop with the
Cubs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means the fact that
something is being observed affects the object being observed. For dieters, it
means don’t diet in secret. It is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>much harder to slip back into old habits if you make your
actions accountable to someone who cares<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Don’t
Curse Your Willpower, Feed Your Weakness<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Limited will power is not a Deal Killer. You counter that by rewarding
yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have to have something to look forwad to every day. The trick here is
to limit the amount of the treat, pick the treat with the fewest calories that
get the job done, and be sure to include it with the rest of your caloric
intake. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Some examples: </b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*<b>Italian Ice.</b> Delicious, reminds me of those halcyon days playing
stickball on a hot July day in the streets of Brooklyn, despite the fact I
never played stickball on a hot July day in the streets of Brooklyn. It’s 100
calories.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*<b>Piece of toast, muffin or other dry treat</b>. I cannot live without bread.
I recognize that and plan for it when I diet. I’ve forced myself to like
healthy bread, my regular choice’s is Milton’s multigrain from Trader Joe’s. I
butter it with olive oil enhanced low calory butter—half the damage of regular
butter.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*<b>Daily latte.</b> I’ve cut down from large to small, use low fat milk, and
make it at home. Savings in calories and cost.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*<b>Nuts</b>. They are good for you in small numbers. I eat small amounts of
roasted, no salt Almond slivers. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*<b>Cheese on crackers.</b> Cracker packages list their calorie count. Spend some time
in the cracker department. Get the thinnest lowest calorie crackers you can,
that still satisfy your dry food Jones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Don't buy chunk of cheese, buy individual small packages. Laughing cow has several varieties. </span>Trader Joe’s has a collection of small pieces of Brie in individual containers.
Some days the Brie (150 cal.) and crackers (about the same) constitute lunch,
perhaps with a piece of fruit. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What is your weakness? Indulge it in small amounts. It is your reward
for being good the rest of the day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">To me the FOG diet is like a successful NBA franchise. In hoop, teams
invest a big hunk of their cap room in genuine superstars. The Miami Heat did
so and back to back championships resulted with Wade, James and Bosh. With the
superstars on board, other free agents will take less money in hopes of a
ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the FOG Diet that means I invest a larger hunk of my calories on
treats and enjoyable food than any diet I’ve herd of. But it works for me. I
supplement with a large array of daily vitamins and eat healthy with my
remaining calories. Drinking a lot of water helps fill the cavity in my
stomach. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am weak-willed when it comes to food, always have been. My prior
successful diets have been crutch-dependent. One used (legal) amphetamines,
another used public exposure and competition (<i>The Washingtonian
Magazine</i>-sponsored Public Humiliation Approach to Dieting). I also lost 60
pounds in the first FOG diet, allowing it to creep back on over the years
because new physical impediments to exercise made me give up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So remember, don’t surrender to your weaknesses, just negotiate a truce you both can live with.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-29531605214992191262014-03-29T16:26:00.000-07:002014-03-29T16:26:18.108-07:00Shaken Nerves, Rattled Brain, Week Two Surprises
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Times;
mso-fareast-font-family:Times;
mso-hansi-font-family:Times;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoUl431DQ8Hk-8YS63udzqG4-DFVIzzqn82Ph_1XpOZ-_JldBSJ5mrRkztNm2ZKFFa1UsDG8D0s2TLSglJpSwYgPT2vEtzO3wB9oezu1or8RdP13ZZ9AJdlSasnnRA0630ry7L2v-hJCk/s1600/Chub&+Dang+odd-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoUl431DQ8Hk-8YS63udzqG4-DFVIzzqn82Ph_1XpOZ-_JldBSJ5mrRkztNm2ZKFFa1UsDG8D0s2TLSglJpSwYgPT2vEtzO3wB9oezu1or8RdP13ZZ9AJdlSasnnRA0630ry7L2v-hJCk/s1600/Chub&+Dang+odd-1.jpeg" height="320" width="255" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">DIET REPORT: Week
Two, Mar 15-21</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">STARTING WEIGHT</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>244.4</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">WEIGHT AT START OF
WEEK TWO</span>:</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">236. 4</span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">WEIGHT AT END OF WEEK
ONE:</span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;"> </span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>230.4</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> </span> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">Loss (gain) this week</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">6.0 POUNDS </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">Loss (gain) since
diet start</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">14.0
POUNDS</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we noted in our last report, the first week of my Fat Old
Guy (FOG) Diet got off to an excellent start.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Week Two got off to a Shaky start. Sorry, that was a pun. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, the “shaky start” referred to an earthquake, whose
epicenter was a mere ten miles from Diet Central.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The unwelcome visitor was 4.4 on the Moment Magnitude Scale,
which used to be called the Richter Scale,. That was changed by the U.S.
Earthquake Confusion Council’s Vice President in Charge of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Earthquake Terminology. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter. In California, we tend to call an earthquake of
that size a Ground Fart. (As this is written, the ground around LA farted twice,
then delivered a not-so-funny 5.1 earthquake. A few more of these and I’ll
count them as part of my exercise program)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, on to the rest of Week Two. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hate </i>Week Two of
Diets. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Week One is all energy and enthusiasm, water loss and
clothes that garrote you a little less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Week Two is your body and your willpower fighting back. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey, who said you could diet? Who do you think is running
this dump?” says your body. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Come on, you lost <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eight
pounds</i> last week, one little slice of Apple pie can’t hurt, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>make it a la mode. You should celebrate!” That would be your
Willpower trying to get you to rationalize the weight back on you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when I stay strong the second week. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>found it is a dangerous week that can cause me or anyone to be
discouraged. It never matches that first week because there is only so much
water to lose. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked for ways to keep the Faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately the Internet came to my
rescue this time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Check out this thoughful gift a wife gave her
soldier-husband returning from a year in Afghanistan. LINK http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/man-returns-home-from-the-army-to-wife-weight-loss?bftw</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A second item deals with consequence of staying fat, even if
it’s for business reasons. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.newser.com/story/183914/one-of-tvs-two-fat-ladies-dead-at-66.html">http://www.newser.com/story/183914/one-of-tvs-two-fat-ladies-dead-at-66.html</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If celebrity and fame are no protection, you’ve got to know
in your heart of hearts that you’re just as vulnerable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The great news for me was Week Two didn’t happen. Instead of
a tiny loss or even slight gain, I managed to lose a sixer. I don’t know why.
Perhaps I had more willpower than I suspected. Or more water weight was just looking
for an excuse to make its escape.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NEXT REPORT:</b> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is Week Three the new Week Two</i>?</div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-67012667251102272112014-03-23T13:55:00.000-07:002014-03-23T23:36:36.937-07:00Lardbutt Launches His Diet...Week One Report
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQ3ySVCFgdvvQ-Rcq8GvhbiL6MqQeTXU8t9zEYUR6CADVzmwefzq6e4ZQaSCRET3VVfLhyphenhyphenv6F4wOaaTyyC9l1USvkHG1wDuEYo6UeK7-eiGpIqzTNUD2AvRYO7bUojxuTk20-ym8JxS8/s1600/D&+TR+mar+2-+8-14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQ3ySVCFgdvvQ-Rcq8GvhbiL6MqQeTXU8t9zEYUR6CADVzmwefzq6e4ZQaSCRET3VVfLhyphenhyphenv6F4wOaaTyyC9l1USvkHG1wDuEYo6UeK7-eiGpIqzTNUD2AvRYO7bUojxuTk20-ym8JxS8/s1600/D&+TR+mar+2-+8-14.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggyFhBqd-IiAacIZal0rC3iU_LjkIv-d20DRXRXT126_AK3OMRQCb7fZiJHfZIFnc3S7efFlOGFrEEIvaL9-LQiPuvWR8FH9NEl-rVhGvu2n64xmUmB8wVNmJknqS7ZD0w_CMnCIlsyYg/s1600/A+&+Jesse+engaged.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggyFhBqd-IiAacIZal0rC3iU_LjkIv-d20DRXRXT126_AK3OMRQCb7fZiJHfZIFnc3S7efFlOGFrEEIvaL9-LQiPuvWR8FH9NEl-rVhGvu2n64xmUmB8wVNmJknqS7ZD0w_CMnCIlsyYg/s1600/A+&+Jesse+engaged.jpeg" height="179" width="200" /></a>(N.B. You can never have enough motivations to diet. My Doc
showed me bad numbers. Got a new Grandkid. But my biggest immediate motivation
is fear of embarrassment. My second son is getting married May 10. So this diet
is the: “Not Gonna Be the Fattest Guy at the Wedding Diet”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Week One Report: </u></b><u>Starting
weight<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> 244</b>.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4 </b>Goal by May 10<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">: 220</b> <o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">EIGHT IS GREAT</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eight pounds lost with relatively little exercise was indeed a great start.. Yup, Ol’ lard butt here dropped eight big ones in the opening stanza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be honest the first “week” was a little more than seven
days, but four of those days were spent visiting family,
including Grandson Mason (3 1/2) and new Grandson Tobey (two weeks). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diet or see new Grandson for the first time? Easy. I’ll do
both. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A motivated dieter doesn’t
have to stay home for the entire diet. It helps when your kids care about your
health. It helps when you can burn off calories trying to keep up with baby's older brother.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I’ll take the Great Eight any way I can. I know from
previous diets that the first few days produce a sense of euphoria and an
increase of energy. This comes from eliminating the daily input of junk
calories I’d been taking in as well as removing guilt I’d been inhaling for
letting my weight get away from me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’m not fooling myself. Week One is water loss and your
body thanking you for finally starting to care about it again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve usually lost in the double digits
the first week of past diets, but as an experienced dieter, I know the second week
is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> as easy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<b>“<i>When you’re on a diet, lying, for lack of a better word, is good</i>.”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span> </span>Apologies to Gordon Gekko, but the one thing I know about dieting is lying is often required. <span> </span>Even when they know you’re dieting, people will urge you to sin. You may lie instead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
*“Love to try just a teeny tiny bite of your famous Lemon Chiffon pie, but I’m allergic to lemons. And chiffon.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
*“Sorry I can’t split a pizza. My swallow reflex is busted.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
*"I left my dessert money in my other pants."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Lying may also be the only way to escape an ambush by strangers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
I had to earlier today when I went off to buy fruit. Because we’re saving money by eating light, we can splurge on the best we can find— today it was at an upscale grocery called Gelson’s. This is a good diet trick—don’t just eat what’s good for you, but eat the best “what’s-good-for-you” you can find and afford.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Gelson’s had a trap set up. I’d prepped myself for not going near their cookie aisle or the fresh bread or pastry departments. But I couldn’t avoid passing the little, sweet-faced Girl Scouts and their Moms guarding the entrance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
“So sorry, we have a lot of Girl Scouts on our block, and we’ve already ordered twice what we can eat,” I said, not stopping to be dissuaded.<span> </span>A lie, but a very good white lie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br />Remember, you are on a diet. You are trying to save your own health and your own life. Don’t let guilt or temptation do you in.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NEXT REPORT: Week Two gets off to a shaky start.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5932705041284217055.post-889654021596452014-03-06T21:13:00.001-08:002014-03-06T21:13:13.844-08:00Summer’s Coming, Lardbutt. What Now?
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoxiVIYRAhupnnyIlnG_RVHxuKjcv5V4LLj7xv6qhPb2FTzrLZhbgoBUZ0Qr1B-leHEf6ZZOZZxR-caOSmiiszzW0-pLOUTsczzDMsLgE_1qKWdSK6yTRoP16qkzh46fUvvWgn2LaVIkY/s1600/FAT+Gut+Ca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoxiVIYRAhupnnyIlnG_RVHxuKjcv5V4LLj7xv6qhPb2FTzrLZhbgoBUZ0Qr1B-leHEf6ZZOZZxR-caOSmiiszzW0-pLOUTsczzDMsLgE_1qKWdSK6yTRoP16qkzh46fUvvWgn2LaVIkY/s1600/FAT+Gut+Ca.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Gut today. The T-shirt was purchased at Goodwill for $1.99.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am fat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in case someone is reading this to you, that’s “F-A-T”
fat, not “P-H-A-T” fat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to the Urban Dictionary, “PHAT” stands for “<u>P</u>retty
<u>H</u>ot <u>a</u>nd <u>T</u>empting.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t been pretty hot and/or tempting since my salad says.
Had I eaten more salad and less fat then, I might be a little more Phat and
a lot less fat now. But that ship sailed, foundered, and sank
in a vat of cake batter ages ago. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What to do? Start yet another diet, of course. I created this blog and I'm telling everyone I
know about this new diet because my fear of public humiliation can make me pass on pork chops, forgo fries, eschew Éclairs and decline donuts like nothing else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have other good reasons to diet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*My once top notch medical numbers are now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Top Gun</i>—I am in the Danger Zone.*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*I need wide-angle lenses for Selfies. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*In silhouette, I look like a toothpick smuggling a bathtub.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*I can’t walk from here to the liquor cabinet without a rest
stop. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*I’m a few pounds shy of having to wear a Wide Load sign under
California’s Draconian “No Fat Guys” ordinance. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*I’m 6’0” 244.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Didn’t say I was morbidly obese. Just Fat. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fat for my age. Fat for your age. Fat for everybody’s age.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*I have a deadline. I want to weigh 220 by May 10<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That gives me nine weeks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My Three Most Memorable Diets<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve had many disastrous diets and two successful ones in my
lifetime.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Most disastrous was my infamous Two-Day Metrecal Diet at
age seventeen. Metrecal was the first diet drink in a can. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tasted like liquefied chalk with just a hint of cat yak. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You drank it four times a day and ate
nothing else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> 900 calories.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day One</b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drank four cans of Metrecal. NOTES: Mild
hunger. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good energy. Optimism
high.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Day Two</b>: Drank three
cans of Metrecal, then ate six fried egg sandwiches. NOTES: I have never been so
hungry in my life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first successful diet was in college. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I carried 225 gelatinous pounds wrapped
over, under, around and through my frame. Summer after sophomore year, my Air
Force officer Dad started a new diet. Dad was no fun on a diet. Grizzlies ran
from his mighty Roar of Hunger. Windows shattered. Dogs climbed trees. Pigeons bled
from the eyes. The Sasquatch Legend was born.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But not this time. Dad had new pills, prescribed by his
flight surgeon. He nibbled at food, turned raconteur at the dinner table, then washed
the dishes while whistling camping tunes. The pounds poured off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I love this Diet,” the shadow of my
Father said. “I’m losing weight and I’m flat out adorable.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course he was. He was on Speed. Amphetamines had just hit the diet market. Soon,
I had my own prescription. The weight also slid off me. Dad and I washed and rewashed the dishes together,
chattering like chipmunks. When I
returned to college a sylph-like 170, I was welcomed with cries of “Are you
dying?” and “When did Audrey Hepburn join the fraternity?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before long, college kids wasted this perfectly good diet
pill to pull all-nighters, and the great Legal Amphetamine Crutch was
gone. Dad and I got fat again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My third memorable diet boasted an official 46-pound weight
loss. The event was recorded and documented by the highly respected “The Washingtonian”
magazine years before the Reality Show diets hit TV. It was started by four fat
writers bumping bellies at the magazine’s annual Christmas Party.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Next:</b>: How I
won the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">PHAD</i> Diet. Why competitive
weight loss can work for you. More fat jokes. And how did my first week go?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
---</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
*Movie reference. The song "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins was from the movie <i>Top Gun</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->John Corcoran, Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11018755412201155640noreply@blogger.com1