READ THIS FIRST: ...and pay attention you litigious bastards. I am not a doctor nor diet expert, just an old fat guy who wants to lose weight. This is not meant as advice for anyone. If you need to lose weight, Tubby, see your doctor and diet on your own, understand? Don't follow the delusional suggestions of some dufus with a blog, okay? If you drop dead dieting, I don't want to hear from you...or your lawyer. This is for entertainment and amusement, only. Okay? You got it now? And yes thank you for asking, I am grumpy and hungry as Hell. Now, you may proceed.
Cork's PHAD Diet Weight Loss Attempt
(May 15-July 26, 2017)
(May 15-July 26, 2017)
Diet Start Weight: 240 lbs.
Goal weight: 220
Week One Weight : 233.5
Current Weight: 230.5
Week Two Loss/Gain: 3.0
Total loss to date: 9.5
To go: 10.5 lbs
About the PHAD Diet
The original PHAD diet was created decades ago by Paul Dickson, author of nearly 70 books and one of the USA’s most respected baseball writers (Leo Durocher: Baseball's Prodigal Son) (Ironically, none of his books was about the PHAD diet.) His premise was that one of the greatest diet motivators ever is fear of public humiliation. And so “Public Humiliation Approach to Dieting” (PHAD) was born. Paul, myself, and two other fat writers competed, with the winner getting to publicly humiliate the losers. The contest was sponsored by the city magazine of Washington, DC, The Washingtonian, with the winner of the diet getting to write about it and shame the losers. Dirty tricks were encouraged. We weighed in together. Photographs--before and after--were taken. After about four months of dieting, it ended with the winner losing 46 pounds. Who was that? Answers in a future report--if I can find the damn article in my file.
My First Diet: The Metrecal Diet
Remember the original Metrecal Diet?
If you do, you are old. I am and I do.
I was in high school when I attempted it. The memory of
my experience is seared into my mind like a 20 ounce Porterhouse on a hot grill.
Here’s how Metrecal was
supposed to work. You could buy a package of the stuff and dump it into a glass
of milk. Or, buy cans of pre-mixed Metrecal. I opted for pre-mix.
 |
| Original Metrecal Ad 1960's |
I don’t know where the name Metrecal came from--probably
a combination of “cal” for “calories” and “Metre” for the delicious flavor of
a meter of soil.
The Metrecal Diet said you could drink four cans of the stuff a day--and nothing else except water. No snacks. No in-betweens. No sneaky goodies added to the mix. Sure, you could sub out some diet food instead of a can or two of the stuff, but being young, stupid and fat, I figured that was the coward's way out.
Four cans added up to a rip-roaring 900 calories intake per day.
Metrecal's manufacturers claimed it tasted like a flavored milkshake. I'd say it was more
like chalk in a can. As I recall, it came in three flavors: Vanilla-flavored
chalk, Chocolate-flavored chalk, and strawberry-flavored chalk. Each can filled
your stomach and suppressed your appetite with the effectiveness of a six-ounce
tumbler of water.
Here then, in its entirety, is the account of my first and
only Metrecal Diet.
DAY ONE:
Breakfast: One
can of Metrecal
Lunch: One can of
Metrecal
Midday: One can
of Metrecal
Dinner: One can of Metrecal
DAY TWO:
Breakfast: One
can of Metrecal
Lunch: One can of
Metrecal
Midday: One can
of Metrecal
Dinner: Six fried
egg sandwiches.
About the PHAD Diet
The original PHAD diet was created decades ago by Paul
Dickson, author of nearly 70 books and one of the USA’s most respected baseball writers (Leo Durocher: Baseball's Prodigal Son) (Ironically, none of his books was about the PHAD diet.) His premise was that one of the greatest diet motivators ever is fear of public
humiliation. And so “Public Humiliation Approach to Dieting” (PHAD) was
born. Paul, myself, and two other fat writers competed, with the winner getting to publicly humiliate the losers. The contest was sponsored by the city magazine of Washington, DC, The Washingtonian, with the winner of the diet getting to write about it and shame the losers. Dirty tricks were encouraged. We weighed in together. Photographs--before and after--were taken. After about four months of dieting, it ended with the winner losing 46 pounds. Who was that? Answers in a future report--if I can find the damn article in my file.
